A time to live……….

I met someone once, a long time ago, who made the biggest impact on me that anyone ever has, even more than my amazing husband, even more than meeting my wonderful children as they came into the world. I’d known about him most of my life but one day I met him in the flesh and we struck up a friendship.

I felt like I’d known him for ever. One day I said that to him but he didn’t look surprised. He explained that he had known me for ever. I must have looked a bit quizzical because he laughed. Then he said that he wanted to tell me something – it would sound quirky but I should trust him. I like the unusual so I said, “Go ahead! I like quirky.” I was laughing a little as I said it but he took my hand and looked into my eyes so I went a bit quiet thinking this was looking serious.  I began to get nervous wondering what he was going to say.

He started to talk and at first I thought it was a story that he had made up to amuse me. He told me, “Not only have I known you a very long time but so has my father.” (I was very confused – I was pretty sure I didn’t know his father!) “In fact, many years ago, my father and I were out together walking – it was that cool part of the evening that he always loves so much. We had been messing about copying the birdsongs and seeing who could throw a stick the farthest but then we had fallen silent, both deep in thought. Dad suddenly spoke your name out loud and then repeated it several times trying out different combinations and emphases on the syllables! I asked Dad what he was saying and he said he had been thinking about you Katrina,  and was trying out names to find one that was perfect for you.”

I could sense the truth of this deep in my heart but my brain was struggling to catch up. My friend explained that his father had to imagine me before he could form me in my mother’s womb. I said, “Hang on. Are you saying that your dad made me? Created me? That he dreamed me up?” There was a long silence from my friend then he looked into my eyes and I knew beyond all doubt that he was telling me the truth.

I realised I had read about this father and son many times in a book my grandad had given me along with an old wooden school desk, when I was a child. A collection of writings about a God of the Hebrews who is love and light and also a father and a creator, who had a son who was made of the same love; so much so that he would one day give his life away to save all the people his dad had created. I loved these stories as much as the ones I had read about the gods of the Greeks and the Norse people. Thor, Perseus – all the beautiful names and exploits. As my friend continued to talk I realised that this father was real and his son was my best friend!

How incredible that this man’s father had designed every detail of me in his imagination, in that fertile creative place of pure love. I remembered reading in my book,

Jeremiah 1:4-5
The word of the LORD came to me, saying,
Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart;
(NIV Bible)

I recalled more,

 Jeremiah 29:11-12

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ¹² Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.”

 (NIV Bible)

My friend had been looking at me with a little smile around the edges of his mouth all this time as I had pondered on these things. “Why are you looking at me like that?” I couldn’t help laughing even though I was trying to pretend I was slightly cross.  Where was this laughing bubbling up from??

It wasn’t like I had anything to laugh about. I had a huge debt that weighed heavily on my mind. I knew that I couldn’t afford to pay it and that if I tried it would have terrible consequences for me.  He leaned over and whispered in my ear, “It’s ok. I’ve paid it off for you.” I jumped nearly out of my skin! “What! Are you able to read my mind aswell??”  He roared with laughter, “Something like that” he said. I couldn’t believe he had paid off my debt.  I searched through my large handbag full of “essential items” for the letter with the red writing that had come in the post just this morning. There, I knew it. I waved it at him, “You can’t have paid it because this last reminder arrived today”. “That’s  only because you haven’t accepted that I’ve done it for you.’ he explained, “Just accept it’s a free gift from me to you. Not only that, but if you ask me to stick around, if you stop looking backwards at your old life, I will  provide you with things that will turn your life around so that you don’t just survive but will actually thrive!”

I felt my heart thrill with excitement as the fear left. I glanced again at the paper in my hand. It still had it’s red writing but…….the words started to run as if the ink was wet. My friend took it out of my hand and ripped it in half but as he did I’m sure I saw the words ‘debt cancelled’ written in blood on the page. I took one last glance as he drew his arm back to throw the paper away and amazingly it looked blank. In fact, the sheet of paper looked as white as new snow to me……..

Well, that was all a long time ago and we’re on first name terms now,  Jesus and Kate. Kate and Jesus. Yes, he and his dad had decided way back that my name suited me perfectly even when shortened to Kate. We’re writing a book together, the God and Kate story, but I told you about that in a previous post 🙂

It’s all about choosing him. I don’t have to study hard or pray for hours (even though those are good things to do). I just have to choose him and those things that he bought for me and then he does the rest. I started singing to him in the car on the way to work one day this week.

I choose you Jesus

I choose life

I choose grace

I chose mercy

I choose you Jesus

I repeated those lines a few more times and then I found I was thinking of more and more things that he had purchased for me – it seemed an endless list – favour, health, joy, self control,  kindness, goodness, love……So I sang all the way to work and didn’t get to the end of the list, and that’s what he’s like really, full of good things for us. We just have to choose him.

Father, Your love for me existed even before you formed me in my mother’s womb. You knew me and set me apart for your special purpose long before I was born. Help me to receive a deeper revelation of this truth, so that I might continue to walk out my destiny in the shadow of your love. In the name of your beloved Son Jesus, I pray, AMEN

Prayer taken from www.FathersLoveLetter.com

Sebastian, Nemo, frogs and winning

Well readers – since we last spoke I’ve been out at a couple of  trout fisheries attempting to develop my fly fishing skills beyond beginner stage 🙂  Although I’m now successful in catching fish most of the time, I’ve never landed one on my own, always needing help with getting the net under the fish in the water. It always seems like you need 3 hands to do this??  I had never taken the hook out of the fishes mouth myself so now was the time to start! Rob had been tutoring me in a method of fly fishing that is slightly worryingly called the “booby method” which entails the use of a fly made with a little foam head that floats well on the surface and then little buzzer flies and nymphs that hang lower in the water. So, lots to learn this year!   

I did think, prior to taking up fishing, that discussing weight, size and numbers of fish caught was a male orientated activity and not one a woman would be drawn into. But last week,  on a particular pool, the unusual situation arose where I had caught three fish and Rob only one. I noticed a small but highly competitive spark leap across my brain and the unspoken contest commenced. The goal? To catch the bag limit of four fish before my husband did. 

The owner of the fishery passed by me on his way to tend to the specimen fowl in the aviaries nearby. He cordially enquired how I was doing and on hearing the “good news”  passed comment that catching more fish than my husband was not good for the “marital relationship”. However, I was sure it would be good for character building (husband’s of course!). 

It wasn’t long before the old adage “pride comes before a fall” was needed as husband bagged his fourth fish before I did, so now it all depended on the weigh in. Last year as a beginner, I was happy to catch nothing as I enjoyed learning the new skill and being out of doors.  Now the competition was definitely on and all noble thoughts of the previous season flown away.

My next catch was a cute little crayfish but more of him later. Once my fourth fish was landed, we walked nonchalantly back to the hut where the weighing scales were beckoning. I can report I had the greatest total weight (by a couple of ounces) – 8lb 2ozs – and one of my fish was heavier than any of Rob’s, weighing in at 2.75 lbs but he won the contest by telling me how proud he was of me 😉

You may be wondering about the crayfish which resembled a small lobster. A few weeks previously, at a fishery in Woolaston near the Rivers Severn and Wye , I caught a frog on my fishing line which was definitely unintentional and probably the most unsavoury fishing  experience I’ve had so far! This incident definitely needed the intervention of a husband to detach the frog carefully from the hook and return it to the pool. Catching a crayfish was also unintentional but quite interesting as it resembled Sebastian, the cute little lobster in Disney’s “The Little Mermaid”. My youngest daughter spent many hours as a young child repetitively watching the film before progressing to become a Disney princess fan. The songs hung around in my brain for many months as any parent of young children will no doubt identify with! I have another daughter with a talent for performing condensed versions of animated movies with all the voices and key quotes. “Finding Nemo” is her best! So I had a soft spot for the little crayfish. which was about as big as my hand. Taking a cloth from my bag I gently held him while I removed the hook. Trying to place him back quickly in the pool, I found the little fella was clinging onto the grass for dear life with his pincers and lots of little legs!! I finally wrestled him free and returned him to the pool still clutching grass to his chest. I do hope he forgives me soon!!